Hilaria Baldwin & the Perverse Myth of Reverse Body-Shaming

The internet recently busted yoga instructor Hilary Baldwin for moonlighting as a Thpanish immigrant and upon learning that “Hilaria” wasn’t born in Mallorca but instead in Massachusetts, I decided to skip her recipe for Boston baked beans estilo Madrileño. In a video clip that went viral, “Hilaria” pretends not to know the English word for a vegetable her bear of a husband played in Married to the Mob, “Cucumber” Frank De Marco, and social media continues to hum with speculation as her charade dissolves like a moth-eaten mantilla. Some chisme alleges that “Hilaria” is Alec Baldwin’s consolation prize and claims that the Beetlejuice star pursued and was rejected by a Latin-American actress known for her role as a snake-dancing vampiric stripper. The tea, or té, is that “Hilaria” might be the closest her Mexican-chasing husband comes to disfrutar una esposa Mexicana o Chicana pero quién sabe. Not me. I’m just repeating what a bunch of tías are saying on el internet.