On the night that I escaped from my abuser, a five-letter word broke his spell, helping to set me free. My abuser had stalked me to the safehouse where a
the Rumpus l September 1, 2023
domestic violence
Tasteful Rude l June 30, 2022
The Doctor’s Tongue
My sexual miseducation took place in California. It often happened at school. I was twelve years old and gluing paper to paper. Collaging. A classmate said that she’d met her
Tasteful Rude l October 8, 2021
The Word You May Be Looking For is “Stalking”
In “Bad Art Friend,” The New York Times framed a story with a clear pattern of stalking, replete with vexatious litigation, as a quest for justice. The Daily Beast published a story about a fatal
Harpers Bazaar l January 28, 2021
Mental Illness Does Not cause Misogyny
At the end of last year, musician FKA Twigs, born Tahliah Debrett Barnett, brought allegations of romantic terrorism against her former partner, actor Shia LaBeouf. Barnett’s lawsuit, which was filed last month in Los Angeles County Superior Court, alleges that LaBeouf perpetrated sexual battery, battery, assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and gross negligence.
Like Barnett and millions of other women, I am intimate with romantic terrorism. After a whirlwind courtship, a man I dated used romantic terrorism to trap me. I remained with this batterer for a long time, and, like Barnett, one of the ugliest questions I’m asked is, “Why didn’t you leave?” The question is audacious considering that I did leave. That’s why I’m able to freely discuss the experience.
Tasteful Rude l January 14, 2021
Tasteful Rude: Don’t Call Me Resilient
At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful bitch, don’t ever call me “brave” for a) having had a life-threatening trauma forced upon me and b) talking honestly and angrily about it.
I’ve had my fill of the compliment.
Things you can do in lieu of calling a trauma victim “brave”
Luz Media l April 19, 2020
The Lost Women Who Haunt My Dreams
My insomnia worsened during the weeks leading up to the discovery of Vanessa Guillén’s remains. On April 22, she went missing from Fort Hood. For two months, people searched central Texas for
March 13, 2020
Coercive Control
Content Warning: Sociology. Language. Misogyny. I miss teaching so I’m going to use this thread as my classroom. I want to discuss a term I dislike versus a term I
December 7, 2019
On Katie Hill and American Girls
I’m reading former Congressional representative Katie Hill’s account of wanting to kill herself after her abusive ex-husband and the Republican party attacked her by using a method of sexual assault