Harpers Bazaar l January 28, 2021

Mental Illness Does Not cause Misogyny

At the end of last year, musician FKA Twigs, born Tahliah Debrett Barnett, brought allegations of romantic terrorism against her former partner, actor Shia LaBeouf. Barnett’s lawsuit, which was filed last month in Los Angeles County Superior Court, alleges that LaBeouf perpetrated sexual battery, battery, assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and gross negligence.

Like Barnett and millions of other women, I am intimate with romantic terrorism. After a whirlwind courtship, a man I dated used romantic terrorism to trap me. I remained with this batterer for a long time, and, like Barnett, one of the ugliest questions I’m asked is, “Why didn’t you leave?” The question is audacious considering that I did leave. That’s why I’m able to freely discuss the experience.

March 13, 2020

Coercive Control

Content Warning: Sociology. Language. Misogyny. I miss teaching so I’m going to use this thread as my classroom. I want to discuss a term I dislike versus a term I prefer. I dislike the term domestic violence. I prefer coercive control. Here’s why. I became a battered woman after a man trapped me in what